Some funny quotes =)
"You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish." -Jerry Seinfeld
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?" -Phyllis Diller
"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice." -Bill Cosby
"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." -Tim Allen
"Imagine if there were no hypothetical situations." -John Mendoza
"Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for an entire weekend." -Zenna Schaffer
"I always wanted to be the last guy on earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me." -Ronnie Shakes
"When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea his first name was Always." -Rita Rudner
"Time's fun when you're having flies." -Kermit the Frog
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." -Dave Barry
"If mini-marts are open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks on them?" -Gallagher
"I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them." -Bette Midler
"I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member." -Woody Allen
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." -Lily Tomlin
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